Because of the nature of my business, I sometimes talk to startup entrepreneurs with a dollar and a dream. Which is fine. But sometimes, these dreams seem a little far-fetched to me. Usually when that happens, MLM or Network Marketing is involved.

Let me be plain up front - I am not a fan of MLM. Not at all. I think it’s a sleazy way of doing business, because the basic premise isn’t honest. The focus of the business is not on the products and services, despite what anyone says - the focus is on building a network.

Every now and again, I get asked to write sales copy for network marketers. I’m not one to turn down paying work, so if you want to hire me and take your shot with your MLM company, I’ll be happy to help (although if you ask, I’ll give you my opinion of MLM).  

But, I *do* have to feel good about it. That wasn’t the case today.

Two weeks ago, a woman gave me a deposit of $750 to write a few sales pages. We were going to do a typical site - Home | About | Products | The Opportunity | FAQ | Contact.  

This kind of thing I can get behind - we’ll sell product, we’ll have a page talking about “the opportunity”, etc - it seemed pretty close to a normal business. I was scheduled to start the project this week.

The today, she e-mails me “the rules”, as laid down by the company. One of the products she’s selling is Sprint wireless service… but I’m not allowed to use the name Sprint. She’s also selling something called Clear4G, and I can’t mention that name either.

Huh? How am I supposed to sell a product online when I can’t mention the name? Sorry, no dice - I’m not doing it. I can’t in good conscience say to her “ok, here are your sales pages” when I *know* they aren’t going to sell squat.

So I call her and explain my point - she says “ok, how about just writing a lead capture page for the opportunity?”. We discussed it, but the same rules apply - I can’t use any names. I could just talk about “National Companies”, “Wireless” “4G” etc etc. 

Yea, that’s do-able to a point, but you know, it’s not do-able by me. I don’t like pie-in-the-sky BS, and I don’t write for it. I also felt bad for my client - she was a bit bummed at these rules herself. The whole thing just didn’t feel right.

So I did the only thing I felt I could: I refunded her money. Even though I booked time for her, I could not keep this person’s money and do work I didn’t believe in. I’ll eat the time loss - I’ll be fine.

I may be $750 poorer, but I’ll sleep tonight. And I believe in Karma and stuff (that’s fodder for another post) - that $750 will come back to me.

Years ago, I used to work in computer tech support. It was 1996/1997, and computers (and the internet) were still somewhat of a novelty. At least for most people.

And I admit, the nerd in me took pleasure in the caller’s incompetence. I mean, really, how could you NOT know how to copy/paste? How could you not know how to create a shortcut. Etc. Etc. I even really got some of those calls that sound like an urban legend:

Caller: My computer boots to funny writing.

Me: What version of Windows do you have?

Caller: Oh, there’s no windows here - I’m in the basement.

Or how about this gem…

Caller: My screen says “press any key”, but there’s no “ANY” key on the keyboard… (yea, it really happened.)

Anyway, I look back now and can (almost) forgive some of the ignorance - like I said, all of this was new to many people.

But here in 2010, I am still somewhat shocked by some of the utter ineptitude I come across. Much of it has to do with e-mail. Now, these aren’t just regular homeowners (like the people I dealt with 14 years ago were) - I deal with businesspeople now. And frankly, I am a little surprised about a few things. So allow me to help - here are some things you just have to know about if you want to converse via e-mail.

• Learn about your spam folder, and learn how to set the settings so you can accept attachments. I cannot count the number of times I got a curt “you never sent the file”  when I did indeed send it. I always say “check your spam folder”, to which I get maybe twenty seconds of silence, then a quiet ”oh…”
  
  
• Learn how to quote properly. I do not need to read the entire last week’s worth of conversation in our exchanges.
  
  
• On that note, please lose the four-line signature about how this message was intended for so and so and there’s an army of lawyers standing by if anyone tries anything funny… Nothing says “spineless corporate weenie” quite like 4 lines of legal disclaimer at the end of every_single_e-mail you send.
  
  
• If I have to register to reach you (as in those annoying spam protectors), well, I don’t. You’ll simply never hear from me. Stop hiding and take your Viagra e-mail like the rest of us.
  
  
• Address book - learn it, and use it. It’s really not that hard. Trust me, sending me an e-mail as a “re” to a  mail I sent you last year tells me you don’t know how to use an address book.
  
  
• Please stop sending 10mb attachments unless 10mb is truly needed. It slows everything up. Learn how to compress a picture if you must. Or ask a ten year old to do it for you.

Ok, I know I’m a little snide here - sorry, that’s my inner tech support dude (he needs to get out every now and again). But in all seriousness, it’s every businessperson’s responsibility to learn how to use e-mail efficiently and correctly, for both you and the receiver.

Here’s why I’ve been quiet - this will be the new Clear-Writing:

http://www.clear-writing.com/index10.html

As you can see, I’m going for MUCH more a “Dan Furman” angle than just writing. Now, it’s nowhere near finished - the links don’t lead anywhere, I’ll be rewriting the copy, I’m still not done thinking about what goes where, etc. But it’s finished “enough” for me to show it to you.

Look for a full unveiling sometime this summer.

I just realized something…. I haven’t sent or received a fax in about 6 months.

Guess that’s kind of over, huh?

I’ve been quiet lately - it’s because there’s a new website in the works. Essentially, I don’t like having “two” sites - I want to combine them. So basically www.clear-writing.com and this one will combine (more this one will be moved there, and both URL’s will point there.)

Basically, I want my blogging activity, affiliate stuff, and “me” over there, under one roof. It’s part of a slight re-invention. Not really, but I kind of want to move from “Professional writer Dan Furman” to “Dan Furman, professional writer and other stuff”. It’s not a huge change, but it’s big in my mind.

Anyway, I’ll still post here - just understand that most free time will be working on the site. Likely looking at a late spring / early summer (re)launch.