I love owning a home based business. And I love working for myself. One reason is I only had few bosses that I really liked - the rest were idiots. Here’s a quick story about one of the idiots, and a sneaky little thing he once tried to pull:

Years ago, I worked as a tech support person for a customer service company. People would call with computer problems, which were almost always the result of their incompetence, and not the fault of the machine. So essentially, my job was to guide people through double clicking the mouse and such. It was mind-numbing work, to be honest.

One time, this lady called, and felt I didn’t help her enough. She wanted to back up 150 MB file to one floppy disk (1.44 MB capacity.) I told her (nicely) it couldn’t be done. She insisted I was wrong, and that her brother (a truck driver) told her it COULD be done,  since he’s a “computer genius” (to which I replied “guess he just drives trucks on the side, being a computer genius and all.”)

Anyway, she writes a nasty letter to my boss (perhaps my sarcasm didn’t go over too well.) My boss gets the letter and calls me into the office. He shuts the door, and says:

 ”This is unacceptable. One more, and you’re gone. Now, this is going in your file, as part of your PERMANENT RECORD. It will be there FOREVER. In fact, after the next ice age, in thousands of years, when archeologists find this place, they’ll know that Dan gave lousy customer service!!! BWAAAhahahahha”   

Ok, I’m making the last part up. But my point is this - my action was so bad that IT COULD NEVER BE FORGOTTEN. EVER!!!!

Ok, fair enough. I was rude to the lady. It’s one of the lessons you take away from customer service - you learn how not to be rude. I was still learning at that point.

But I learned quick.

Two weeks later, I got not one, but TWO letters saying what exceptional service I gave. I felt really good, because I really made an effort and tried to be nicer and better help people, and obviously, my efforts were paying off.

My boss beamed at me as he showed me the letters. Then he did the most underhanded thing in the world - he handed them to me to keep.

At first, that didn’t seem so underhanded, but I then remembered being in that same chair two weeks earlier. Then I thought about my reputation with the archeologists of the future and such. So I asked him “wait - can’t THESE be a part of my permanent record too?”  

Turns out, that’s not the way it worked in his eyes - only BAD things go in the file forever. Good things are given to you. Because the boss knows you’ll lose them. It also makes it really easy to fire you when your file has nothing but negatives in it.

Not a day goes by that I’m not thrilled that I work for myself. The above illustrates just one reason why.

I look at B2B websites all the time, and I noticed a recent trend - an increasing number have copy up pertaining to the recession, hard times, etc.

Now, I can see where this makes sense. Personally, as a copywriter, I like to think my services help protect against declining sales, etc. So I figured maybe I should mention something like that too, and started to get to work inserting a “look, times are hard, so you need good copywriting, blah blah blah…” paragraph onto my homepage.

You know, as I was writing it, it just felt “wrong”. I’m not about doom and gloom - I’m about raising sales and the like. But I put it up on my site… and took it down a week later. It’s just soooo not me.

I realize some businesses use recession and “hard times” in their copy, but I’m really wondering how effective this is. To me, it’s barely above telling a customer “I know you don’t have much money, but…” I want my copywriting site to convey many messages, but reminding people of the economy is NOT one of them. Listen, businesspeople KNOW the pulse of the economy. And if they are at my site, I want them to come away with something positive, not negative. 

I have no data to back this up, but I’m betting in terms of B2B, things like “recession pricing” “recession deals” ”recession special” don’t sway people.

Just my .02 anyway.

So, why is someone at your website??

Really, that’s one of the most important questions a business could ask themselves. Exactly why is your visitor visiting your website?

I’m surprised at the number of businesses that don’t ask themselves this question. Because if they did, they’d have much better web copy. But many don’t - instead, many businesses lead their websites off with a boring company history (”in business 35 years!”…. like I give a @#$%) or some fluff flash piece extolling the virtues of… nothing (just being honest here - showing images of generic, impossibly happy multi-cultured businesspeople while words like “dynamic solutions” fade in and out to soft music says nothing.)

I repeat - it says nothing.

Ok, I’ll be as succinct as possible here - on the internet, there are generally three ways someone got to your website:

• They came from a link somewhere (likely somewhere related to what you do).
• They came from your own marketing (web address on a business card, etc.)
• They searched for your industry/product/service and you came up.

Now, in all three cases, they came with an expectation in mind. Why a company would not meet that expectation head on is beyond me.

Take my copywriting website for example… I lead it off with letting a visitor know that I’m a professional writer, and I can solve their writing problem. Know why I do that? Because I’m under the impression they came there for writing. They didn’t come to buy a set of steak knives - they came for writing (I know, it’s a stretch, but humor me… ) 

So I lead off telling them ”Need a writer? Well my friend, look no further, cause’ here I am!” (well, I don’t say exactly that… Using “cause’” would be rather silly of a writer, wouldn’t it?  But you get the point.) What I don’t do is start off with how many years I’ve been in business, my awards, a silly splash page, etc etc.

The whole reason most business websites exist is to do one of two things - make a sale, or (in cases like mine), get a contact. That’s prettymuch it. Ok, we can have directions to your company and such as well, but the general idea for the website’s existence is to get an interested party to act

Now don’t get me wrong - getting someone to take action could mean a lot of different things are needed - certainly company history, years in business, online portfolios, etc are all a part of that - I’m not saying they should not be on a business website. What I am saying is that your website should LEAD OFF addressing the frame of mind of the majority of visitors. 

And you figure out that frame of mind by asking yourself the question I posed in the beginning - why is my visitor here?

In business, but especially in small business, I feel you need to be consistent in your business beliefs, whether you are a buyer or a seller.  Here’s a quick tidbit that explains this a little better:

I believe in offering high quality at a fair price. For example, my prices are not the lowest - I do not compete on price. I compete on quality writing for a fair price. If you are shopping for just a price, I lose. No problem.

I extend this when I am dealing with others. Kelley Rao, who did my Clear-Writing website, was not the lowest priced out there. But I felt she was the best. So I used her.

In fact, in almost all cases, I do not shop on price. I believe in fair value, I want quality, and I am willing to pay for it. And I should be that way, because I offer the same to my paying customers. I do NOT beat anyone up over price and say “so and so is cheaper.”

In other words, I do not expect people to use ME based on value, but then turn around and use others based solely on price. It’s just not consistent.

I mention this because I’m surprised at the number of people out there who sell their own service on value, but then shop others on price. Recently, I had someone who wanted me to write a page saying how he was worth his higher rates, how he was a good value, etc etc… but then proceeded to give ME the “well, so and so is cheaper.”

Now, this would be fine if “so and so” was one of the writers out there whom I consider good competitors. Apples to apples, then - no problem. But this particular “so and so” had a two page site with little writing. Basically, a page of rates, and obvious “we outsource to college kids” demeanor. NOT apples to apples by any stretch. It was clear who the better, more professional writer (and business) was.

My prospective client was not consistent. He wants people to see his value, but he’s not willing to see anyone else’s. I feel that’s a poor way to do business.

End of the story is I told him to use “so and so”. He replied with “but I want *your* writing”. To which I said “then pay MY rate, and not so and so’s”.  

He did, and he’s happy with my work.

Be consistent - you’ll be a better business and a better client.

I’m stunned at how horribly bad the following example of copywriting is. Literally stunned…

To tell this story properly, I need to mention milkshakes, and how much I like them (which is a lot.) I like everything about milkshakes, and in particular, I really like that neat mixer with the metal cup a ”real” milkshake is made in.

I’d make milkshakes at home, but we don’t have one of those metal cup things. We do have a blender, that my wife insists is “just as good“, but I know better. That “just as good” crap was used on me thirty five years ago to explain why I got “El Cheapo Knockoff Action Figure” while my friends had the genuine “GI Joe”. My friend’s toys went on bold, death-defying adventures, while mine couldn’t handle much more than being taken out of its plastic shell without going to pieces (literally).

And not only did my wife use a phrase I knew was suspect, she also used a particular tone of voice when she said “just as good” as well. Another childhood memory sprung up…. where have I heard that tone before?? It was the same tone that my mom used when saying “Tastes like candy” in describing Brussel Sprouts.

So basically, I’m saying that I’m onto my wife, and know that ”Just as good” is BS, plain and simple.

Enough. I’m 42 years old. I own a company. I’m going to buy a milkshake machine with a metal cup, dammit (and now, finally, we’re getting to the point of this story.)

So I go to the store. No milkshake machines. I go to several stores. Nobody sells these things. 4 billion “just as good” blenders, no milkshake machines.

Then, at the fourth store, I come upon one. There were two in stock. The packaging was a little rough, and they were on clearance. But I don’t care - I found what I wanted. I picked up the package to read it, and there in BIG RED LETTERS was the likely reason these were on clearance. The big red letters said:

“DON’T BUY THEM IN THE STORE”

I took pause for a second. Don’t buy them in the store? Don’t buy what in the store?  And why not? Should I buy whatever they are talking about online instead?

It was a very off-putting moment. I actually put the package down.

Then I read it again and realized they were talking about milkshakes - if you own this machine, you don’t have to buy them in the store.

Oh…

But the damage was done. That little niggle of negativity - that phrase right on the package telling me DON’T BUY - did its job. I noticed the shoddy-looking package a little more, and for whatever reason just said “nah”…

Did that phrase directly and consciously make me say no? Not at all. But did it contribute to my non-purchase? Even on a subconscious level? Absolutely. Thus is the power of words.

That guys in expensive suits actually sat in a room and came up with this is mind boggling. Putting the words “DON’T BUY” prominently on the package (even though you were talking about something else) is astonishingly dumb.

In writing, it’s not always about what you think something means. It’s about what the intended audience thinks something means. A good writer will understand this.

They didn’t have a good writer.

Oh, and I’ve since bought a proper milkshake machine. And a gym membership… seems like they go hand in hand.